First things first, the original headline of this article - "
BC Ferries losses rise as passengers drop" on CBC News online on August 18, 2011 - had the word
drop instead of
dwindle; I guess CBC realized that talking about passengers dropping in association with ferries wasn't a good connection. "Man overboard!" Whereas the headline correctly has
BC Ferries, the article opens with
B.C. Ferries. Then,
a couple of swaps are in order:
2011/10 should be
2010/11 and
says recent the drop should be
says the recent drop and I think the second sentence could be restructured to have less
ands and then it would flow better. Then,
what are
risking fares? Are they anything like
rising fares? Finally,
in the article's penultimate sentence,
it should be dismissed. Click an image to enlarge it.
First things first, the original headline of this article - "BC Ferries losses rise as passengers drop" on CBC News online on August 18, 2011 - had the word drop instead of dwindle; I guess CBC realized that talking about passengers dropping in association with ferries wasn't a good connection. "Man overboard!" Whereas the headline correctly has BC Ferries, the article opens with B.C. Ferries. Then,
a couple of swaps are in order: 2011/10 should be 2010/11 and says recent the drop should be says the recent drop and I think the second sentence could be restructured to have less ands and then it would flow better. Then,
what are risking fares? Are they anything like rising fares? Finally,
in the article's penultimate sentence, it should be dismissed. Click an image to enlarge it.
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